Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"Being alive" perceptions

Many people wonder, what could have happened if… they had chosen another road, at a certain point in their lives.
The truth of not being able to go back there and try the other option, reconsider old views and opportunities, claim for more, acknowledge new facts, is killing us.
Revelations and memories is all we have left.

I cannot face the fear of the future, it's so uncertain and shadowed by questions.

I cannot go back into my past, there is no place for me there, not the way I am now. Though I am deeply longing for some parts of it.
I cannot live in the present either, it's so unsympathetic, unreliable and fragile.

My desire is not to alleviate this pain of "being alive" (and never really where i am supposed to be), but rather to see how present-day perceptions can contribute to my reluctance in sharing past-time memories with someone, who would be able to grasp just a tiny piece of them, naturally, without any effort.
My desire is not to go back into my past, but rather to pick up bits of it, bond them to my present and make this "being alive" a little more certain and bearable.


Narcotistul said...

You don't have to worry about the past. It will always cause you pain. So why worry about it? It's not like I could change it ...

And the future.. another thing you should not worry about, try to find the right ways, but not worry about it... waste of time and health

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